Journey of a Lifestyle

It seems EVERYONE these days wants to know the gender of their baby prior to birth.

For loads reasons I can understand why people want to find out. Making choosing a nursery theme easier, buying clothes & being prepared for other aspects such as choosing baby names. Probably a very popular reason these days too is to have the gender reveal party!

Personally my family LOVE the fact we’ve chosen not to find out the gender. My elder sister also didn’t find out the gender of her baby, I was convinced the whole way through her pregnancy she was going to have a baby girl and yet she had a boy!

We’ve already had lots of people ask “What are you having?” I always want to reply saying “A baby!” But we just reply saying how we’ve chosen not to find out the gender. Everyone has reacted quite positively, some even more than others love that we’re not finding out.

So why in this society of everyone finding out the gender of their baby did we choose to say “no we don’t want to know” and wait until we that magical day where we get to meet our little one?

The perfect surprise

The main reason I didn’t want to find out & I think Toney would agree, is the SURPRISE! One of the few things you can’t control in life is what gender baby you will have. There are so many gender prediction myths to the shape of your baby belly to the foods you crave during your pregnancy but none of them can know for sure. Even our doctor said the gender won’t be in your notes because it’s only 94% accurate.
I can’t wait for that moment once our baby is born and in that moment of pure joy and happiness we can find out what we’ve been wondering for all these months.

The annoying opinions

When your pregnant, everyone seems to assume you have a preference of what gender you want your baby to be. I’m not against people having a gender preference at all. I’d personally find it awkward having told people what you were hoping for then if you find out your having the opposite. I’d never want people to think I was disappointed as no matter what gender your baby is, he or she will still be this perfect little human that you’ve created. You always seem to have people that make those comments like “I’m sure your husband would prefer a boy first”. Toney & I are both in agreement, as long as our baby is healthy then we couldn’t be any more happy.

I love new born babies in neutral way too much

For some reason I adore seeing newborn, tiny babies in whites & neutral colors. To me it’s just perfect, like them. Their brand new, tiny & perfect, you’ve got so many years to dress them up in pink tutus and football jerseys in my opinion.

We’re enjoying the guessing games with our family & friends

As I mentioned above, there’s so many myths of how you can guess or “predict” what gender baby you will have. But there’s still fun in guessing and wondering. When we told some our friends we were expecting, one said straight away “it’s a girl!” & it’s so much fun hearing what gender people think we’re going to have. Comparing how many people think boy compared to girl. People wonder about your family history, symptoms etc. and tell your their stories, it’s all good fun!

Those magical first moments

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all saying if you find out the gender those first moments aren’t magical, because I’m not! Personally I don’t want to make all the decisions about my future baby when I haven’t even met him/her yet! I want to see my baby’s face before I know their name. I don’t want to decide or create scenarios in my mind of how he or she will be, I want to see my baby and learn all about him or her when their in our arms & when they can teach us for themselves.

So far not finding out the gender of our baby has been super easy. We’ve already brought a ton of baby clothes, neutral of course! I’m going to do a baby clothes haul at some point to share some of the perfect little outfits we’ve chosen. We will be buying all the big stuff soon such as the furniture so I’ll share that with you too, proving how easy preparing for a baby without knowing the gender can be.

I would love to hear about your experiences with finding/not finding out the gender or your thoughts on this.
Were you glad you found out/waited till the birth or was you dying to have a gender reveal party?!


Rosie @ Journey of a Lifestyle

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27 thoughts on “Why we decided to not find out the gender

    1. Really? That’s nice to read actually as I always wonder if people will get offended or reply with a funny comment like “well obviously” ha ha!

  1. I know I’m old fashioned , so no need to hide it. I like the fact that you and Toney don’t want to know the gender before the baby is born so many people want to know the gender but I feel as though that ruins the surprise element. I had never heard of “gender reveal ” parties until last year.

    1. I’m old fashioned too! It’s true, they do! I feel like we’re the only people who are not finding out compared to the rest of my generation. Yes me too, that’s one of the main reasons I didn’t want find out. They are a new “thing” I’ve never been to one but I’ve seen lots of videos online. Hope you’re well Jo!

        1. Glad to hear! Oh lovely, I hope you had a lovely time?!
          I’m doing well thank you for asking! Time is flying by – we’re starting to slowly make some of the bigger baby purchases as I’ll be full term in 8 weeks! Can’t believe how quickly time is going!

  2. II’m from the stone ages where predicting gender was simply a guess, brought about by wives tales. We always had two names ready, but I think choosing to wait on the name and sex is lovely. I wish you the best!

    1. I’m sure 99% of them are old wives tales! I don’t see how swinging your wedding ring above your belly can give you the gender but I’m not against a bit of fun ha ha.
      Yes same! We’re currently choosing both girls & boys names, me too, I must be old minded as most of my generation finds out 🙈
      Thank you so much! So kind 😘 & thank you for reading! 💐

    1. Glad I’m not the only one! 😃
      It does appear to be more of a traditional thing to not find out as my parents didn’t. It’s definitely more common to not find out in the UK compared to here in the states.
      Exactly! One of the best surprises you can get too!

          1. I think I sound like the grumpy one! ha – or maybe I’m just old minded with traditions! Although cake does sound good right now! ha ha.

  3. We’ve had many friends, including my sister-in-law, choose not to find out. It makes me so anxious. I love knowing and planning and I knew for both of mine.

    For my sister-in-law I was so exciting and doing a lot of stuff for her shower I thought it was going to be tough but I found so much. I even found a enough onesies in sizes up to 12 months to fill a Rock ‘n Play sleeper. It was so cute and everyone loved it. And I was so happy so many of the little things I did for her without knowing. It was a very cool moment when we were all at the hospital and my brother-in-law came out and said “It’s a girl!”

    1. That’s so amazing! I feel like there is definitely more gender neutral clothes and baby items in the UK and there’s definitely more people in the UK that choose not to find out the gender compared to the US. Everyone seems to find out here in the states! Even my doctor was surprised that we didn’t find out but she’s super excited to find out with us.
      I think Rock ‘n Play is on my list to get as everyone is highly recommending them. Did you/your sister-in-law use the Rock ‘n Play much?
      That makes me so excited how you’ve said about your brother-in-law coming out to tell you it’s a girl! Such a magical moment!

      1. She bought the rock n’ play because I had used it with my son. We took it everywhere with us! To visit family, to summer picnics, as our bassinet on vacation. My son and my niece both often napped in theirs at all of these places. It’s one of my most recommended baby items. While it seems big, it’s actually easily transportable when you turn upside down and carry by the legs.

        1. Ah that’s so useful thank you! I’ve seen you can adjust the height for younger babies too! Did you just use yours while they were toddlers/once crawling etc or early on too? Would you advise to get one before baby is here or wait till after?
          Thanks so much for your help!

          1. I think the weight limit is 25lbs. We only used it when they were babies. I don’t think it’s meant for toddlers… though my son did climb in it once for a nap after my daughter was born. It was rather cute! I’m not certain if newer versions have some type of stabilizer but I don’t recommend it once they get to the real mobile/squirmy age because it would tip easily.

            It was a new product out around the time my son was born so we got it when he was 2 or 3 months old, but it was glorious to have immediately following my daughter’s birth!! Get it now! 🙂 She slept in there so often as a newborn.

          2. OH! You can tell I’ve never done this before ha ha!
            That does sound pretty adorable!
            I find all this so confusing! I really want a bassinet as I’d like the baby next to me during the night, but then I’ve heard about the Pack ‘n Plays and seen some Vlogs where it has a top attachment so it looks like a little bassinet on top (if that makes sense) for newborns I’m guessing?
            But also don’t want to buy something and then never use it!

          3. There is so much out there for baby “necessities” it does get overwhelming. The first time I walked into a baby store I walked out crying. It was too much.

            We used a pack n’ play that had a tiny little rocker in it that was portable but locked in and had the bassinet part too. The weight limit on that was lower – 15lbs, maybe? I loved both the pack n’ play and rock n’ play.

          4. I can imagine! I feel like that’s going to be me too!
            Thank you – that’s so useful to hear! Did you use your Pack ‘n Play during the night too?

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