Someone you love, someone in your family, a very close friend. Someone who’s opinion means something to you. They tell you or mention to you on more than one occasion that something about you or something that you do should change, bothers them or what they say makes you feel in someway negative. Should you change it or should you not let it impact you because that’s who you are?
I’m not talking about walking past someone and that person telling you that you shouldn’t bite your nails. Someones’ thoughts who in my opinion shouldn’t mean anything because they don’t know you, they don’t know why you do such a thing like biting your nails. Do you do it because it calms you & relieves your anxiety? Who knows, who are they to tell you how to live your life.
Yet the people in your life who do mean something, people who’s opinion you’d listen to, or you would go to for advice. And rather than mentioning something insignificant such as biting your nails they talk about something personal. The way you talk or say something, habit it what you say. Something you do which bothers them or they say “you shouldn’t do that”, should you listen and allow that to effect you? Should we allow these people who are close to us effect us in a negative way because something we do on a day to day basis bothers them? If it’s who you are, part of your personality. Something you’ve been doing your whole life.
Growing up the things we do, see, listen to, the things we are told to & not to do shape us into our own person. We grow into something which is so unique, as humans we become more individualized than a fingerprint and that no two are ever the same.
Should as a person we embrace change? If someone we love tells us we should change or alter something we do because they say so we should say to ourselves “Yes! Maybe I should stop or start doing this”. Or should it be on our terms because we know ourselves more than anyone else does right? Only we can decide who we choose to become as a person.
If that person truly loves us, why should they ask us to change? Surely they would understand that who we are today is who we’ve spent our whole life becoming and growing into. Surely they would appreciate that the things we do are what show our individuality, our fingerprint. We are the ones who do those things that bother them so but it’s ok because that’s who they are.
Is it naive of me to think that people can love every single thing about us, having nothing they don’t love or appreciate about us?
Self acceptance or change?