Something occurred the other night which made me feel very uncomfortable. It gave me this feeling that I haven’t felt before, especially since I’ve moved to Florida in May. Afterwards it made feel very different in my new surroundings compared to home. Up until that night I felt very at home here in Florida. Myself and Toney going by our day, doing as we do. I was adjusting to my new life just fine. Don’t get me wrong it’s been different as I’ve never been so far away from my parents and the place a will always call home. So I’m now questioning where this feeling is coming from. Is it cause of what occurred and how it made me feel or is it cause I’m in a new country? A new country where guns and weapons are legal. Is it cause I’m still in an unfamiliar place? I don’t know. Home sick maybe? Who knows.
So the other night I was walking the dog close by home, it was around 9pm. Prior to this I felt quiet comfortable walking the dog on an evening/after dark. I did it at home and it was fine. For those who live in England will know how early it gets dark during the winter. Coming home from work I’d walk the dog and it would be dark, but I’d be fine about it.
I was one minute from our house and a car pulls up next to me. An older man inside the car who’s alone pulls down his window and says “Hey beautiful, need a ride” or something along those lines. I turned straight around and walked home. Maybe I over reacted? Maybe it was a guy being nice? I don’t know but it scared me. And I suddenly felt unsafe here in this new home. Is that stupid to feel this way?
This experience then triggered another debate I’ve been having for a while. In England guns and weapons are illegal so I’m not used to being around or seeing guns, the police don’t even carry them so being around them made me very uncomfortable at first. Toney took me to a shooting range and I didn’t even like the feeling of shooting a gun. I didn’t like that something in my hands had so much power. Yet after the other night my thoughts changed on the idea of having a gun. I started thinking “Maybe as protection a gun is not a bad idea”.
Toney enjoys the shooting range, he has his license and owns many guns which doesn’t bother me. I didn’t like seeing them in the house at first but I got used to it and Toney is extremely cautious and strict with them. It feels like it’s an argument between head and heart. I don’t like guns and never have. But after a little negative experience my mind thinks is it so bad to have as protection?
Who knows. Maybe that night I just got scared and my emotions got the better of me. Maybe unfamiliar spaces overpower your emotions and slightly change how your feel & think about things. Are these kind of experiences good? Does it grow you and make you stronger? Should we all be living out of our comfort zone once in a while?